My students and clients have constantly heard me stress that our Martial Art is more than just a physical discipline; that it is a discipline that develops both the mind and body. This is so important that Soke Masaaki Hatsumi, the grand master of our lineages, has made it the primary thrust of just about every one of his books about Ninpo and Martial Arts in general.

The presence of mind that your training demands helps you make wise and thoughtful decisions. Often, these decisions involve choosing others as friends – and all of us would like to choose good friends – people we can consider real “team players.”

It’s sometimes very mysterious why we choose who we do as team players. Often we like a person right away based on some intuitive thought or feeling. When asked, we say that it just “felt” right. Other times we may observe someone for a while with admiration, and build up to a formal introduction.

Friendship is a wonderful thing and is vitally important for personal growth and success. It can be found on the Ninja’s Kongokai mandala used in Japanese Mikkyo esoteric mind-science training. Found in the ‘wind’ realm which represents surrendering oneself to a greater good where the total result produced is equal to much more than just the sum of the parts added together.

Friendship itself is sometimes sparked by what we call “vibes,” or a strange and electric power of attraction. This is what gives it such a terrific and seemingly magical power to tie people together so closely. All the same, our first impressions can often be mistaken. We’ve all made mistakes before in the friends we’ve chosen. Often, we’d like to ignore, forget, or believe that we had anything to do with the selection, but we shouldn’t. It’s these lessons that remind us that we are human and make mistakes, as-well-as the fact that not everyone we meet will enter into a relationship (whether business, personal, etc.), for the same reasons that we do. It’s not right or wrong – good or bad. It’s just life.

There’s really no way to be 100% certain that everyone, or anyone, you choose as a friend will turn out to be a good team player. But, the Martial Arts Academy ‘is’ a terrific place to meet new people, especially those with many of the same interests, and often with the same focus and desire for purpose, power, and interdependence (as opposed to dependence or co-dependence) in their affiliations. Many lifelong friendships have begun in the dojo (“martial arts training hall”). Here are some tips on how to choose friends that might be right for you.

[a] Look for people who share the same basic values that you do. The Martial arts teach certain values and principles that you should know to look for. Honesty, respect, individuality – these are all good qualities that a lot of people share. Having friends with these qualities will make it a lot easier for you to feel relaxed and at ease when you’re with them. You want to develop friendships that will be both fun and rewarding – mutually beneficial to all parties involved. One person should never carry the burden of trying to make a relationship “work.”

[b] Look for people who respect your decisions. Your friends will have different tastes than you do. They should respect your freedom of choice, just as you should respect theirs. Sometimes you may feel that a friend is not making a positive choice. Discuss these issues. Nothing is more important to friendship than communication and honesty. Discuss things with parents or significant others and your instructor(s) as well.

[c] Look for people who are real team players. You know what that means: people who are willing to stick by you through thick and thin, who will be there when you need them, and will show you the understanding that you in turn give back. A friend you know you can depend on is one you will probably have for life.

There will be times when you feel that a friend of yours is consistently making bad choices, or is not treating you with respect. The Ninja Warrior takes pride in understanding: try to see where your friend is coming from, and try to resolve any differences you might have. Don’t be afraid to talk to your parents, spouse, or your instructor. They have the benefit of experience, and are always looking out for your best interests. There are very few things as precious as having good friends, and you should not let them go easily. Hold onto your friendships; let them know you value them and do your best to solve problems as quickly as they arise. Trust your instincts and follow your heart!

INSPIRATION can be a powerful thing. It can keep you going when all around you cries out “quit!” It is even more powerful than motivation, as motivation gives you your basic reasons to keep going–it tells you why you want to do what you do, because motivation is based on goals. These, in turn, may be based on necessity want or desire. But inspiration fills those reasons with hope, possibil- ity and enjoyment and keeps the “grind” from becoming too grindy.

But just what does inspiration consist of? I posit two elements: vision and mission. Proverbs 29:18 says ‘Where there is no vision, the people perish.” A vision is the first step toward turning your motivation into inspiration. A person with a vision sees down the road. He can sense what it will be like six weeks, six months, a year, two years, five years and more ahead.

But how do you get a vision?, you ask. First of all, you need to narrow your perspective. You can’t attempt to “ride off in all directions at once,” so to speak. Try to decide what it is you are looking for, so you’ll know it when you see it. In other words, try to have in mind some general goals as to where you want to be six months a year, etc. from now. These goals will not only form the basis of your motivation but should also serve to limit to an extent the scope of your activity.

Next, try to locate and choose an opportunity (business, career or job) which you feel is right for you. This may be easier said then done, as there are many choices which sound good. You may come upon an outstanding one right away, purely by chance. If so, latch onto it. But you will probably have to pick several at first and study the things which each one offers and try to evaluate the potential of each one as you see it. Settle on the one which you feel has the most potential with the least amount of hassle (preferably one that is totally Internet driven as opposed to one where you have to spend time calling potential prospects by phone).

Once you have chosen your company, stand behind it in every way and don’t quit or change your mind. B.C. Forbes said “Without loyalty, nothing can be accomplished in any sphere…” Think of yourself as being in it for the long haul, no matter what. And try to envision, based on what you know, how things will be down the road. Keep that picture before your mind, and never doubt. Napoleon Hill said “What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve,” and the Bible says, in Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Once the vision is firmly implanted in your mind, let it become your driving force. Let the vision excite you with the possibility of its fulfillment and you will automatically begin the next step–you are on a mission. Your mission is to bring about the realization of the vision. If you keep the vision in mind, you will move forward in the mission, accomplishing enthusiastically step by step that which is necessary to bring the vision into reality. You will have developed a sense of excite- ment, importance and urgency which will keep the fires of inspiration burning in your heart and moving you ever onward and upward.

“It`s life Jim but not as we know it.”

-Spock

In Corrogue there is a starry, starry night.

This evening the night sky is so very clear and full of stars. The Milky Way is clearly visible. There is a sense of wonder at the beauty of it all.

When I used to watch television I loved the program created by Gene Rodenberry named “Star Trek.” Each week the crew of the Starship Enterprise were encouraged, “to go where no man (or woman) has gone before.”

The crew of the Starship Enterprise had many adventures. Often the ships logical First Officer Spock would be asked by the captain James T Kirk what he thought about a particular life form they happened to encounter. Spock would often reply, “It’s life Jim but not as we know it.”

This is a wonderful description of the miracle that each of us is.

We are life flowing eternally but we do not know it. We do not, in that sense, know who we really are and the vastness of the beauty that we are. We are encouraged to look ever outward and forget the real beauty of our being. This is where heaven truly lies.

The energy that is life is the energy of love.

This is an unconditional timeless flow that manifests in form from the formless. From this emptiness all is created. This is the wonderful paradox of this experience we call life. Everything happens out of “no-thing.” We are each a most wondrous “nobody special.” We each are the compliment of the Beloved. We live a life of paradox whereby everything is created from “no-thing.”

Do not be like the logical First Officer Spock. Do not try to make logical sense out of this paradox. You can know this only by feeling it to be true. The difficulty, however, is that to know and feel this truth you have to disappear. You have to become life but not as you know it. You have to become the dance of the Divine. You become the play of the Beloved.

When you know life as essence there is only the knowing.

There is no one who is different from the knowing. There is unity. You and the knowing are one. There is non-separateness. There is a whole and holy experience. This is not resisted. It is not judged but simply allowed to flow moment to moment. When listening to music there is only the listening. When looking at a sunset there is only looking. There is no interpretation or comparison of this sunset with another. There is only the wonder of the moment. The observed and the observer are one.

Much of our time is spent on making a living and losing our lives in the process.

We compromise our birthright of joy in living a role that gives us some imagined degree of security and value. We fear we might become “nobody special.” We fear that “our” life might not measure up. “Our life” in the end might not have any meaning. So we create any sort of meaning rather than “our life” have no meaning at all.

In this age of celebrity and the fame we want to at least have some sense that we have achieved. We want to be seen as somebody special. We want to be someone who’s life is important in some little or even large way.

In this way we lose our life.

This is what Christ meant when he said, “He that would save his life shall lose it. ” He wasn’t advising you that if your life was in anyway threatened that you should simply allow yourself to die. He meant that the lack of faith in the unknown leads us to create an illusion of separateness. The ego creates a life separate from the “real life.” It creates life but not life as we know it. The real life is that spoken about by the mystics of all traditions and cultures.

Knowing who you are is the “real life.” It is eternal life. It is the great instruction. If you move through “your” life without knowing who you are then you will have missed. This knowing who you are is a heart felt timeless experience of love. It is wisdom. It is the deepest Blessing available.

When you seek you will find. What you find is the seeker is an illusion. You find that the “homeplace” of the heart is a place of oneness, wholeness, non-sperateness and joy. You are a holy being of light. This light is the unconditional eternal energy of Love. When you know that you are this then you know the Blessing is already here.

“God is love” and you have never and can never be separate from this unity. You are made in the image of the Beloved. You are a living paradox of knowing that everything is eternally being born out of no-thing.

The rational First Officer Spock of the Starship Enterprise will tell you that he cannot comprehend this. This is akin to asking the rational mind to turn somersaults. The rational mind thinks in opposites. It is only the heart that can embrace paradox. Only the heart can feel comfortable that black is white and not white at the same time.

The heart knows what the head cannot. The head rationalises which means it can only ever know in part (the word “part” is the root of the word “ratio.”) The heart embraces wholeness and the holy. This is wisdom.

In gazing at the emptiness of the night sky I experience wonder. This simple looking allows me to go where few men (or women) have gone before. In the vastness of this nothing ness there is fullness beyond belief. This fullness is the experience of unconditional love for all eternity. Knowing who you are is knowing you are this. This is the real discovery.

This is the real life but not life as the ego will ever know it.

© 2005 Tony Cuckson

You, my friend, are going to die.

What? What kind of motivational tool is that? Real inspiring!

In fact, it is. Our mortality may perhaps be the ultimate inspiration and motivation! If we lived on this earth eternally, we could be procrastinators extraordinaire! We would never have to get anything done because there would always be tomorrow. But alas, we pass on and all we leave are the memories and the lives of others we affected while we were here. Sounds gloomy? In actuality, it is exciting! You see, this gives us purpose (and a deadline, pun intended).

We can choose how we will live on in the hearts and memories of others. We do this by purposing to live lives NOW that make change happen in ourselves, and those around us.

What kind of legacy will you leave? How will your family and friends remember you? How will you leave your descendants in the following areas? Give some thought to them and make some changes. In doing so, you will begin to lock in your legacy.

Emotionally: Have you ever stepped back and asked yourself how you treat other people and how that effects them emotionally. I have four children, all under ten years of age. I am acutely aware that they are being shaped emotionally by how I treat them and teach them how to deal with the world. I am especially aware of this from my own background. I can directly trace my emotional shortcomings to the emotional coolness I felt from my own family. Are you raising emotionally healthy kids who are both independent as well as interdependent? Are you helping your spouse to grow emotionally? Give this some serious thought.

Spiritually: In my mind, the “God” question is the most important. You know, I often hear people say that they are just going to let their kids “figure it out on their own.” These same people will show them how to shoot a basketball, trade stocks, and build a tree house, all simply temporal issues, but leave the answers to the biggest question up in the air! Now I am not advocating cramming anything down their throats, just taking the time to helping them find their way. Are you helping and encouraging those around you to find their spiritual life? Are you living an authentic spiritual life that will be your legacy? Give some serious thought to this.

Physically: Now I know what you are thinking: I can’t change my genes. They got what they got and they’ll have to live with it. To a certain extent this is true. I am 5’11 for the rest of my life. I will never be 6 foot, and neither will my kids. What I am talking about though, is to be examples of taking our physical health seriously. The statistics prove that whatever bad habits you have, your kids are likely to do them as well. Why? Because you are their example. This is why I work to stay physically fit. I work out. I lift weights. I eat right (most of the time – I am a sucker for Breyer’s Vanilla Bean Ice Cream). I don’t smoke. I want to leave a legacy of health behind for my kids. True, they can still go astray, but I will do my best to give them a good example to follow. Give this some serious thought.

Financially: There are two primary ways you can leave a financial legacy. First, teach your loved ones about how to handle money (some of you may need to learn yourself first). There are just so many good books on the subject, there is no excuse for not knowing how to handle money. Rich Dad, Poor Dad is a good book to start with, or perhaps The Millionaire Next Door. These will teach you the basics. Secondly, you can leave an inheritance. Now let me be clear on this. This does not have to be after you die. In fact, the more you have, the more I believe you ought to give away while you are alive.

Let’s face it, the older you get, the less need you have for money once the basics are taken care of. It always cracks me up that by the time you can afford a big house, your kids are gone and you don’t need one! Turn the money over early so you can watch the joy of your loved ones spending, investing and giving it! This is of course predicated upon the assumption that you have first taught them how to handle it. If you have, then you should give it away while you’re alive so you can enjoy seeing your legacy in action! Give your financial inheritance some serious thought.

Relationally: What kind of legacy will you leave in regard to how people you know interact relationally with others. When people look at how you interact with others, will they be better off if they develop the same relational habits? Will your legacy be one of love, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and forgiveness? As you live this life, you will see that your legacy grows after you in those you influence day by day. Give the idea of influencing others relationally some serious thought.

Intellectually: I don’t know about you, but I want to challenge people to deeper intellectual thought. In a day and age of People Magazine mentalities, we need people who will challenge us to think deeper. Are you doing anything that will challenge your sphere of influence to intellectual gains? Will those left after you are gone, say that you made them think thoughts they hadn’t before? That you challenged them to be smarter? Give this issue some serious thought.

Functionally: Functionally? Yep. It’s a catchall word. It is how they function. It is all of the above, rolled into one. How will those you influence actually function? This is to a great degree how you function. Are you well rounded? Are you balanced? Do you keep the main things the main things? Is your life functioning well? Make it your goal to live a balanced, functional life so you can leave a legacy of such. Give your life function some serious thought.

I ended each paragraph with a challenge to think seriously about each. These aren’t issues we will solve immediately. They take a lifetime to build and they will ebb and flow. But as you diligently pursue staying on top of them all, you will be locking in that legacy you desire to leave behind!